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And then the room filled with children’s shoes. We went through the museum and I saw those windows filled with hair, and of course it brought back memories of when we were shaved. Later in the interview, Rose spoke of her pilgrimage to Auschwitz 40 years after liberation. but those words ring in my ears, “If you’re not going to eat, you’re going to die.” You can excuse yourself and say if I had run back my fate would have been the same as hers. Maybe I was too selfish about saving myself. Maybe I didn’t do enough to stay together. I felt guilty for many years that maybe I should have run back and tried to get her with me or stay with her.And she didn’t come the following day either… … I knew it was trouble didn’t find out until after liberation there was a big action on Yom Kippur.

I told her tonight was Yom Kippur and say some prayers… … I told her to go back to her barracks and we would meet again tomorrow. She picked up the potato and started to cry. It was the afternoon before Yom Kippur , and that day I got three raw potatoes from somebody and r threw one over the wire to her.

For a while, through the wires, we would meet every day. I tried to run back to her but I was caught by the Kapo, beaten, and thrown back toward the Czech Lager.

At another point we were separated and I went into the Czech Lager where Czech families were brought from Theresienstadt and eliminated and she to the C Lager. Once I yelled at her, “If you don’t eat, you will die!”Needless to say, I know in my head I’m not the cause of her death… but in my gut I’ve believed that I caused her death. The only thing she ate was the slice of bread she got and I used to get angry with her.

Once a week in Auschwitz you received some marmalade made from sugar beets in your hand. From the moment we got into the camp, she couldn’t eat. She was only 14 and it was a miracle she got past Mengele. When I came to Auschwitz, my sister was with me.was 19 years old in the spring of 1944, when she was deported from her village, which had previously been annexed by Hungary from Czechoslovakia, to a place where they were burning 10,000 Jews every day. *California State University, Dominguez Hills, California Survivor Guilt in Holocaust Survivors and their Children

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